


Who's that, walking down the aisle?

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-10
Updated: 2008-05-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 06:58:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8701978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen is a wedding planner. Jared is getting married. Jared and Jensen used to be lovers before Jared's parents tore them apart. What will happen when they meet again after nearly a decade apart?Features Wedding-planner Jensen :)Not based on the j-lo movie, though themes are similar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Jensen and Jared are both the same age in this fic.  
>  Mentions of underage sex (they are both 16 when the relationship begins)  
> Don't be put off by the jared/other warning, there is no explicit sex except between Jensen and Jared :)

Jensen Ackles slowed his late model sports car to a stop outside the two storey, sprawling mansion in one of the more upscale neighborhoods in the city. He was buzzed in through the electronic gates after he introduced himself and parked in the driveway in front of the mansion. He had to whistle low under his breath in appreciation of the surroundings, the residents were obviously extremely well off.

 

He used a few moments to compose himself, checking his appearance in the rearview mirror and checking he had his briefcase and PDA with him before he stepped out of the car and went to the front door. He waited patiently as he rang the bell, hearing the faint musical chimes as it rang indoors. Fighting down the nerves, Jensen coached himself to be cool and confident, the potential client, a Mrs. Johnson, wanted to commission him to help plan and organise her son’s wedding. 

 

The door was soon opened by an older woman with rosy cheeks and an apron around her waist, who smiled when she saw Jensen on the doorstep.

 

“You must be Mr. Ackles? Mrs. Johnson is waiting in the Blue Room”, she said, stepping back to allow him to enter.

 

She led him through the hallway and into another room bathed in shades of blue. Jensen’s artistic senses keenly took in the interior design of the room with approval, his eyes came to a stop on the woman sitting on the lounge and he couldn’t help freezing in shock.

 

No…how can this be? 

 

She looked older than he remembered but it had been almost a decade since he had last seen her, her hair was a paler shade of gold, her skin less smooth but she was still an elegant looking woman, dressed stylishly in a tailored cream suit and matching low heeled pumps. She came to her feet gracefully and came forward to meet him, tiny hand held out and a welcoming smile on her face, a radical contrast to the memory he had seared in his brain of stormy eyes and pressed lips, an expression of disgust and horror on her delicate features.

 

“You must be Jensen. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I have heard only good things about you from my friends who’ve used your services”, she began.

 

Jensen smiled weakly. Didn’t she recognise him? That was a good thing then, all he had to do was make his excuses and make a speedy exit. He didn’t need this job that badly. 

 

“Please, have a seat. My son will be along shortly. He’s a very busy man, you know. He runs his own company”, she said with motherly pride.

 

Jensen awkwardly took a seat as he tried to figure out how to leave. He berated himself for not researching into who was hiring his services before he accepted the job. He might have found out who he would be dealing with and none of this would have happened, but it hadn’t even occurred to him. After all, the name ‘Johnson’ meant nothing to him and he was being offered a very large commission for his services. 

 

In the distance he heard the slam of a door and footsteps approaching the room.Shit, time’s up

 

He turned to watch the arrival of the prodigal son and had to bite back a gasp. He was almost exactly as he remembered. Tall, well built, devastatingly attractive with a wide grin and the same floppy hair. He had matured though, long limbs filled out, jaw more squarer, more of a man than the boy he remembered. And had loved.

 

Jared Padalecki in the flesh. Love of his life. Worst mistake of his life.

 

The bad thing about it all was that in the ten years since he had last seen Jared he had never forgotten about him, never stopped thinking about him, never stopped loving him. No matter how much he tried to deny it, it was all too obvious he had never gotten over loving him. He had thought Jared had loved him back, back then, Jared had certainly said it with conviction many times.

 

Thinking back, Jensen cringed to think how naïve and trusting he had been, all he had been to the other boy was a summer fling. He had been the shy, awkward teenager working at the local burger shop during the summer break, Jared had been the spoiled, only son of wealthy parents. Jensen had fallen head over heels the moment he had seen the hot, young guy stroll into the burger shop. He’d blushed and fumbled with the other boy’s food and change and had been mortified at his behaviour after the boy had left, convinced he had thought Jensen was a weirdo. But then the mystery boy had come back the next day, and the next and the next until one day he’d come in and asked Jensen out. 

 

From that day forward they had been inseparable, Jared would come in on the days Jensen had to work, buying a meal and eating it slowly in a corner booth. On Jensen’s days off Jared would pick him up in his car and they’d go to the movies or the beach or the mall, anything as long as they got to spend time together. It didn’t take long before Jensen lost his virginity to Jared and he realized he had fallen for the other boy. Jensen had thought he’d found the love of his life, that this was his happily ever after. 

 

It hadn’t lasted long though. The end of summer came and reality in the form of Jared’s parents intruded. Jensen had never been so terrified as the day Jared’s parents had found out that their precious son claimed to be in love with another boy of all things. Jared’s father was an intimidating man, when he was livid with rage, it was frightening. As a shy teenager it had been the worst experience of his short life and one that left behind bad memories that he still carried with him. He might be a fully grown, seemingly confident man today but underneath it all he was still the scared young boy on the verge of adulthood who had given all his trust and love in his lover only to have it destroyed as if it meant nothing at all. 

 

Jensen didn’t hold that against Jared, though. They had both been young, sheltered in their own ways in the belief that things could work between them. In his heart, Jensen had always had the belief that things were too good to be true, that someone like him could deserve someone like Jared. Jared had been like a shining star, attractive, rich, smart and popular with wealth to boot. Jensen had been shy, awkward, unsociable and lacking in confidence. People like him didn’t end up with people like Jared. Jensen had done Jared a favour by leaving, he didn’t want to be the cause for Jared to fight with his parents, he didn’t want to be the reason for ruining Jared’s life, Jared was better off without him. 

 

Jensen is broken out of his reminiscing and brought back to the present as Jared enfolds his mother with a quick kiss on the cheeks before he turns to greet Jensen. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open slightly and Jensen knows he hasn’t gotten away with his identity like he had with Jared’s mother.

 

“Darling, this is Jensen Ackles. He’s the wedding planner I hired for your wedding. I’m told he’s the best in the business”, Mrs. Johnson says.

 

Jensen works to hide the stab of pain it brings him to hear that Jared is getting married. He should be happy for him, he loved Jared and wanted him to be happy but it was a little too much to think about the faceless girl Jared loved enough to want to marry, to find out that Jared had had no problems moving on after Jensen. And now he finds himself in this predicament, to actually be in close contact with Jared in order to organise the perfect wedding and then witness Jared walking down the aisle and pledging his life and love to another person. The thought nearly kills him. 

 

Jared’s schooled his features into one of politeness as he reaches forward to shake Jensen’s hand.

 

“Nice to meet you, Jensen”, he says.

 

Jensen shivers slightly as his hand is grasped, Jared’s hand is warm and large and he can’t help remembering those very hands mapping his naked body, worshipping his bare skin all those years ago.

 

“A pleasure, Jared”, he responds neutrally. 

 

It looks like he’s stuck with the job and he’s determined to do it well. If he remembers correctly Jared had once told him his mother was a very active socialite and had huge drawing power among the elite. It will do his business good to have her recommendations.

 

They sit down and Jensen spends the next hour talking about his services, his approach to organizing weddings and what sort of ideas did they have and how it could be incorporated into the wedding. Jensen is hurt to find out the wedding is scheduled for only a few short weeks away. Jared’s mother explains the date was moved forward to accommodate the father of the bride who had made plans to go overseas for a lengthy period for business.

 

After the initial consultation period is over Jensen stands up, makes his excuses and makes a quick exit. He’s determined to treat this job like any other, Jared may have been the love of his life but they were no longer together, Jared had moved on and so should he. Didn’t mean he should stick around and be buddy-buddy like with Jared though. 

 

He’s almost reached his car when a hand grips him by the shoulder.

 

“Jensen”

 

He steels himself and turns around.

 

“Did you have any other questions? I’m afraid I have a very busy schedule so I have to be moving”, he begins.

 

Jared frowns and only grips Jensen tighter.

 

“Why did you leave?”, he asks.

 

Jensen frowns.

 

“That was only the initial consultation, if you have any other quest-”, he’s cut off as Jared shakes him a little.

 

“No! I know it’s you. Don’t try to avoid the topic! Why did you leave me, that summer? I thought you loved me. What happened?” Jared asks, eyes wide and anguished.

 

“How did you recognise me? Your mother didn’t. I’ve changed you know, I barely recognise myself sometimes”, Jensen questions, gesturing to his designer clothes and late model car, avoiding Jared’s question.

 

“I never forgot you Jensen. I’d recognise those eyes and lips anywhere. And you only met my mother once”, Jared replies, gaze probing.

 

“Once is enough. Why is her name Johnson now?”, Jensen asks.

 

Jared swallows.

 

“Dad passed away a few years ago. She remarried just last year. You didn’t answer my question”, he answers.

 

Jensen squares his shoulders and meets Jared’s gaze head on. He ignores the heartache of seeing his handsome features after nearly 10 long years apart and knowing he’s not part of his life anymore and never will be.

 

“It was just a summer fling between us. We were young, naïve, we didn’t know what real love was. It would have never worked out Jared”, he says, reeling off the reasons he had forced himself to believe.

 

“You’re wrong Jensen. I did love you, you meant everything to me-”, Jared presses.

 

Jensen cuts him off, he won’t listen to those words coming from Jared’s lips.

 

“For God’s sake. We were barely sixteen. And its history now. We’ve moved on and now you’re getting married. I’m just the wedding planner”, he reminds the other man.

 

Jared steps back and his expressive face closes off.

 

“You’re right Jensen. That thing between us is old history. I’m getting married”, he says, emotionlessly, as if reminding himself.

 

Jensen keeps perfectly still, not letting the other man see how much those words hurt him. 

 

“I better be going then. Let me assure you I will do the best I can to give you and your partner your dream wedding”, Jensen chokes out before he stalks to his car. As he leaves the driveway he can see Jared’s tall frame, watching him drive away.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: Hope you enjoy :)  


* * *

Jensen returns to his office in the city business district, strides past the receptionist’s desk, telling his receptionist that if anyone asks, he’s not in. He enters his personal office and clicks the door closed behind him as he dumps his briefcase to the ground, shrugs off his jacket and scrubs a hand through his hair. He feels drained and muddled, as often as he’s thought of Jared over the years he’d never expected to see him again. He slumps down into his swivel chair, presses the intercom button on his desk and tells his receptionist to also cancel all his appointments for the rest of the afternoon before he bends forward and leans his weary head on his folded arms.

 

(BEGIN FLASHBACK)“I’ve never felt this way before. I think I love you Jensen”, Jared says wonderingly as they lay on the deserted beach underneath the dark sky, looking at the stars.

 

Jensen lies next to him on the beach towel, savoring the contact of his side against Jared’s warm skin. He becomes warm at Jared’s words, he knows he loves Jared but he never thought to believe Jared felt the same way.

 

“I love you too, Jared”, Jensen answers shyly.

 

Jared squirms onto his side to face Jensen. He has a wide grin on his face as he tenderly brushes a hand down Jensen’s face. He leans forward and catches the other boy’s mouth in a heated kiss. Jensen enthusiastically participates. Their first kiss had been awkward and Jensen had been so embarrassed as their noses bumped and their teeth clashed. He had never kissed anyone before so he had wanted the first time to be magical. Jared had laughed the awkward first kiss off and swooped in for another one that had been perfect. Quick kisses had gradually led to more heated kissing to make out sessions in Jared’s back seat and on the beach to exploratory journeys of each other’s body’s and finally to sex. 

 

The kiss becomes more pressing as Jared presses against Jensen and rubs his erection against Jensen’s thigh. His hands slip under Jensen’s cotton tee, running over his back and dipping beneath his loose jeans. Jensen squirms closer, needy noises low in his throat as Jared’s tongue slips into his mouth. 

 

Jared slides a hand to their front and presses a palm flat across the front of Jensen’s jeans, feeling his hardness. Jensen gasps and presses into the touch. Jared slides his arms around Jensen's hip.

 

“Promise me that you’ll never stop loving me, Jen”, Jared urges.

 

Jensen looks into his lover’s gaze. 

 

“Never”, he promises.(END FLASHBACK)

 

Jensen is brought out of his memories as he hears the door quietly open and close and the sound muted footsteps sinking into the carpet as they approach.

 

“Annette told me you told her to cancel all your appointments. You okay?”

 

Jensen sighs heavily and leans back into the chair.

 

“Did I ever tell you about the summer I turned sixteen?” he asks his business partner and friend, Mike Rosenbaum. 

 

Mike gives him a confused look. 

 

“No, I don’t think you have, Jenny”, he says as he pulls out a chair in front of Jensen’s desk. 

 

“I was sixteen and painfully shy. I found it hard to talk to people so I didn’t have friends. I got a casual position at this tiny burger shop during the summer break so I could earn some extra cash to help my mom with rent and stuff. My parents had been divorced for years by then and I was living with my mom and things were a bit tough”, Jensen begins, a far-away look in his eyes.

 

Mike nods to show he’s listening. They had met when Jensen started his senior year at his high school. The other boy had seemed so sad and alone that Mike had taken the effort to befriend him. It had turned out to be a good decision, Jensen was sweet and reliable and a good friend. Later he had become a good business partner, both of them setting up their own wedding planning company. They were gradually building up their reputation for a keen eye on detail and creating magical weddings. Mike had often wondered what had happened before Jensen had moved to live with his dad that had made him so sad. He had a feeling he was about to find out. 

 

“Anyway, one day this hot guy my age comes in and orders this huge meal. Me being what I was then, acted like a complete dork, blushing and stuttering, I thought for sure he thought I was some freak. He came back the next day though, and the next and the next. Each time he’d come up to me and try to start a conversation. The first few times I could barley choke words out and I’d just nod or shrug or shake my head or something, but he kept coming back and I gradually started talking with him. Not too long later he asked me out, all I could do was nod like an idiot”, Jensen smiles in memory.

 

“Jared was sweet, talkative and confident, everything I wasn’t but wanted to be. He was also filthy rich, his parents spoiled him and he was the only child so he was doubly spoiled but he wasn’t a snob or anything like that. Before I knew it I had fallen for him, deeply. That summer was the best in my life, we were inseparable and I thought he loved me as much as I loved him”, Jensen stops abruptly. 

 

He’s never told anyone about what happened that summer, he’d kept all the memories, good and bad tightly locked up inside him and now he’s confiding in someone, it feels strange.

 

Mike is intrigued, he’s never seen this side of his friend before. In all the years he’s known Jensen he’s never heard him talk about love or relationships or his past. Jensen is professional and distant, as far as Mike knows he goes to work each day, finishes and goes straight back to his apartment. Aside from the few times he’s managed to persuade Jensen to join him and sometimes his partner Tom to go out for a drink or a meal or a show, Jensen doesn’t seem to have any sort of social life. 

 

“What happened then?” he asks.

 

Jensen’s face clouds over.

 

“His parents found out about us. It was the last week of summer break and Jared had taken me back to his place because he wanted to swim in the pool. His parents were supposed to be out all day but they came back suddenly and found us in a, shall I say a rather ‘compromising’ situation”, Jensen says dryly.

 

“Of course they were shocked and then furious. Jared tried to calm them down, told them we were in love but they wouldn’t hear it. Then they turned around and called me a slut, accused me of corrupting their innocent son and trying to con him into giving me money because I knew they were rich, threatened to call the cops. Not a pretty scene”, Jensen rushes, the memories still painful.

 

Mike is shocked, he can’t think of anyone more less likely to be a con artist than Jensen. Knowing his sensitive nature, Jensen must have been scared out of his wits back then. Mike knows that even now as a grown man, Jensen still struggles with some of their more overbearing and intimidating clients.

 

“Didn’t your Jared do anything?” he asks.

 

Jensen smiles a twisted smile.

 

“Of course he tried to defend me, he’s that sort of person. He even went as far as to threaten to leave home for good to be with me”, he says.

 

Mike raises his eyebrow.

 

“He chose you over his parents?”

 

“No. I wouldn’t let him make that choice and ruin his life. What could I offer him? He had everything he needed and I couldn’t be the reason for him to lose the life he had. I left, I packed up my stuff and told my mom I wanted to live with Dad for a while”, Jensen finishes shortly.

 

Mike is incredulous.

 

“Jensen. He said he’d pick you, that he loved you and you left!? Without a word?”

 

Jensen becomes angry.

 

“He didn’t love me! We were sixteen. Sixteen year olds don’t know what love is. Jared didn’t know what he was doing, he was confused. Besides he deserved someone better”, Jensen hisses, hands clenched in tight fists.

 

“Why do you always put yourself down Jenny? Why can’t you see the beautiful person you are?” Mike asks, upset. 

 

“I’m not. Jared is the beautiful one, he’s kind and gentle and strong, physically and mentally”, Jensen says.

 

“If you say that, then why couldn’t you believe he loved you, huh?” Mike presses gently.

 

Jensen looks at him confused. He doesn’t have an answer, he‘s never seen it like that before. He opens his mouth.

 

“The day after…the day after his parents found out about us, Jared’s dad came to see me at home. He got my address from the burger shop. He came to my house, saw the bad state it was in, knew I wasn’t well off. He told me that Jared was confused, that he really didn’t love me, that it was all a mistake, that I would ruin Jared’s life if I kept seeing him. He made me feel ashamed of being gay, as if it was unnatural and wrong, he made me feel inadequate next to Jared. And then he offered me money to stop seeing Jared. I saw red Mike, told him to get lost. I left the next day”, he confesses.

 

Mike aches at the pain and confusion and fear his friend must have felt at the time. He can’t imagine what it must be like to go through something like that. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jenny. It must have been a horrible experience”, Mike soothes.

 

Jensen laughs and it comes out as half a sob.

 

“I saw him, Jared. Today”, he reveals.

 

Mike is gob smacked.

 

“And?” he asks.

 

Jensen looks at him and Mike sees the anguish in his gaze.

 

“He’s getting married. And I’m planning the wedding” he says flatly.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: Hi all, it's been a while!  
Here's the next part :)  
Part 3 of 7.  
Anything in astericks are thoughts/flashback etc  


* * *

Jensen steels himself as he presses the dial button on his cell phone. His heart beats rapidly as he waits for the person on the other line to pick up. It gets to the point where he wants to hang up, that his heart can’t take it when the phone is picked up.

 

“Hello? Connie speaking”, a feminine voice answers.

 

Jensen feels his heart break a little. So this is what Jared’s soon to be wife sounds like.

 

“Hi, this is Jensen. Mrs. Johnson hired me to help organise your wedding with Jar- Mr. Padalecki”, Jensen stumbles.

 

“Oh. Yes, hello”, Connie answers. 

 

“I just wanted to call to confirm a meeting so that we can get started on choosing flowers and themes and dresses and so on”, Jensen explains. 

 

They organise a meeting for that afternoon. Jensen sighs and hopes he can get through it okay. It was hard enough hearing her voice over the phone, in a few hours time he’ll have a face to go with it and a complete picture of Jared’s new love.

 

Mike had offered to take over the Johnson client but Mrs. Johnson had been adamant she wanted Jensen. She had even doubled the commission price and they had had no choice but to accept. Jensen spent the rest of the morning sorting out the notes of what Mrs. Johnson wanted for the wedding. Apparently she had been given free reign by Connie to organise the whole event, she was happy with whatever her future mother-in law did. Jensen would double check with Connie later if she really liked the ideas Mrs. Johnson had.

 

Noon came and Jensen drove to the boutique where Connie was having her wedding dress bought. He parked outside the store and saw two women waiting on the sidewalk. One was a petite blond, the other a curvy brunette. When he approached them, the brunette was introduced as May, the bridesmaid and the blonde as Connie. His heart sank as he took in the delicate features and wealthy air around the blond. This was the perfect match Jared’s father had wanted for his only son.

 

They went inside and Connie tried on a number of dresses before settling on a slinky silk number. For May, Jensen picked out a strappy violet dress to compliment her colouring. He talked about the flowers to decorate the church they would be getting married in, the type of menu to have for the reception, the cake and even the music. Connie was quick to agree to any suggestions Jensen had and the decisions Mrs. Johnson had already made and he couldn’t help but think Jared had chosen a very passive bride. May flirted with him throughout the whole time which made him slightly uncomfortable. 

 

When they were finally done for the day, Jensen couldn’t wait to leave. He jotted down the new notes he would need in his planner, said his goodbyes and quickly left. The next few weeks flew by as he visited the caterers and designed the menu, booked the florist to provide flowers on the day, took the wedding dress to be altered, booked the venue and entertainment for the reception, booked the church and priest and printed and sent out the invites. All while keeping in close contact with Mrs. Johnson to make sure they suited her wishes. Jensen thought it was cruelly ironic that Jared’s mother was so nice and that he was beginning to genuinely like her, it was a radical contrast to the first time he had met her all those years ago. He bitterly wonders if she would still be as fond of him as she claims to be if he told her who he really was. 

 

The wedding was a week away and all he had left to do was find the perfect suit for Jared and his best man and then pick up the wedding bands. He had left the most difficult tasks for last. Jensen consoled himself with the thought that in a week Jared would be out of his life forever and he could move on with his life. With Jared married, Jensen would have no choice but to close that last part of his life away. 

 

Jared was leaning against his sports car outside the men’s formal wear boutique when Jensen arrived. He straightened as Jensen parked his car and approached him, face expressionless. 

 

“Jensen”, Jared nods.

 

“Let’s do this then”, Jensen says as he leads the way into the store. 

 

They browse the racks of designer suits until Jensen spots the perfect one. The suit is tailored and a dark grey. Jared would look devastating in it. He takes it off the rack, checks the size and hands it to Jared.

 

“Try this one”, he says, gesturing to the dressing rooms.

 

He goes to look for a white shirt and shoes to go with it, while Jared tries on the pants.

 

A few moments later, he has a few pairs of shoes for Jared to pick in what he estimates to be his size and few silk ties and a few white shirts. He knocks on the door and asks Jared how it’s going as he pushes the shoes, ties and shirts into the stall. 

 

Minutes later, Jared’s tousled haired head peeks out behind the stall door. He’s expression is sheepish as he explains he’s having trouble doing his tie. Jensen sighs and pushes himself into the stall. It’s a bit cramped due to Jared’s size and him both in the stall and Jensen is practically chest to chest with his ex-lover. He can smell the cologne on Jared and see the steady pulse of the vein on his neck. Fighting not to be distracted he steps forward and fixes the tie. Jared looks down at his bent head, and Jensen can feel the gaze on him. He finishes the tie and looks up.

 

Jared’s eyes are open, a range of emotions visible. Regret, sorrow…love?

 

Jensen lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and tears his gaze away. 

 

“Done”, he says and before Jared can react he’s stumbling out of the dressing stall. 

 

There’s a slender blonde man standing just a few feet away from him who looks at him curiously when he bursts out of the dressing stall away from Jared. Jensen smiles weakly at him and turns away trying to compose himself. 

 

“Jensen, I-Chad! Hey”, Jared says as he sticks his head out of the stall. 

 

Jensen turns back to them as he realized the stranger was Jared’s best man. 

 

Jared comes out of the stall, looking like a million dollars in the fitted suit. 

 

“Chad, this is the wedding planner, Jensen. Jensen this is my best man, Chad”, Jared introduces.

 

“Hey man. I’ve never met a male wedding planner before”, Chad says conversationally. 

 

Jensen laughs, he’s heard that all too many times.

 

“Well now you have”, he shrugs. 

 

Chad smiles before he eyes them a little quizzically and Jensen fights off the blush he knows wants to spread across his cheeks.

 

“Jensen was just, um, helping me with my tie in the stall”, Jared says lamely.

 

Chad smiles, accepting the statement.

 

“So, you’re getting married, man. Nervous?” Chad grins, clapping Jared on the arm. 

 

Jensen takes that as his cue to leave and begins to browse the racks in the boutique to find a suitable suit for the best man. 

 

Chad slips into a dressing stall to try on the outfit Jensen has picked out for him as Jared changes back into his own business suit. Recognizing the stubborn look in Jared’s eyes, Jensen sighs.

 

“Jensen, I want to talk”, he begins.

 

“About what?”, Jensen answers, voice crisp.

 

“Us. What happened 10 years ago…everything”, Jared says.

 

“For the last time, there is no us! And I‘ve already told you what happened all that time ago” Jensen hisses.

 

Before Jared can open his mouth, his cell phone rings. 

 

He answers it with an unhappy look.

 

“Hello? Oh, hi mama. Is everything okay? Yeah, I’m with him now. Trying on suits. Yes mama. That sounds nice. Really? Alright then. I’ll see you soon. I will. Bye”.

 

“Mama’s organizing a nice lunch”, Jared announces.

 

“That’s nice”, Jensen replies, wondering why Jared felt the need to tell him his plans.

 

“You’re invited. She won‘t take no for an answer, so no excuses”, Jared continues, eyes drilling into him. Daring him to make some pathetic excuse and refuse.

 

“Oh. Okay, sounds good”, Jensen replies through gritted teeth. 

 

Why is this happening? I just want to go home, curl up and forget about Jared and his stupid wedding.

 

Later 

 

Jared’s mother’s idea of a ‘nice’ lunch is pretty extravagant in Jensen’s eyes. Lunch to him was usually a chicken and salad sandwich and a bottle of water unless he had business meetings with clients over lunch. The table on the porch outside seems to be literally groaning with food. Salad, char grilled asparagus, cold shrimp, open-shelled crab, a huge platter of a range of hams and sausage, cheese, bread and more . There’s also a huge clear bowl of ripe, red cherries, several different cakes placed on cake stands just waiting to be sliced and jugs of ice cold water and ice-tea and pots of coffee. 

 

It’s just the three of them dining together, Chad had a business meeting to go to so he had declined. Mrs. Johnson is warm and the perfect hostess and extremely eager to talk about Jared’s upcoming nuptials with Jensen. She’s brimming with pride and excitement as Jared sits there with an unreadable expression on his face. Jensen sits through the lunch with a forced smile on his face, hearing the woman that helped tear them apart talk on about her son’s upcoming wedding is one of the hardest thing’s he’s ever had to endure. After leaving Jared. 

 

When Jensen can no longer eat anymore despite Mrs. Johnson’s motherly insistence, Jared stands up and suggests a walk around the gardens. Mrs. Johnson smiles.

 

“Why, that’s a lovely idea. You must show Jensen the rose garden, it smells and looks heavenly”, she says as she calls her housekeeper to clear the table.

 

“Okay, mama. You’re going to go inside?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes, I have a hair appointment in half an hour. I will talk to you later, Jensen. It was most enjoyable to have you join us for lunch”, she says.

 

“Thank you for inviting me. It was a pleasure”, Jensen automatically replies. 

 

As soon as she disappears indoors, Jensen turns to Jared. 

 

“Well, thank you for the wonderful lunch. I had better be going”, he says.

 

“But you haven’t seen the gardens yet. It really is very nice out there this time of the year”, Jared drawls, gripping his arm. 

 

“Come on”, he says, tugging him down the porch stairs. 

 

Jensen allows himself to be drawn down the stairs. Despite everything his mind is screaming at him he still wants to be near Jared. 

 

It’s fine. We’re just going to walk around, look at a bunch of flowers. Nothing wrong with that, he tells himself.

 

They walk silently for a few moments. Occasionally, Jared points out the special features of the immaculate gardens-water fountains, sculptures, rare flowers. 

 

Unexpectedly Jared turns and grabs his hand, pulling him behind the cover of a wall of tall hedges. 

 

“What the-!” Jensen blusters as Jared corners him against the leafy barrier. 

 

“Okay, no more avoiding me, no more pretending we never knew each other before you became my wedding planner. We are going to talk, Jensen. Whether you like it or not”, Jared growls, crowding in close against him with a determined look on his face. 

 

“I already told you-”, Jensen begins only to be cut short.

 

“That’s bullcrap and you know it. You don’t believe anything you told me anymore than I do”, Jared snaps. He leans close, a pleading expression in his eyes.

 

“Jensen. Please. Tell me what happened. Why you left”

 

Jensen sucks in a breath, feeling almost dizzy from Jared’s closeness and the memories assailing his mind. 

 

Do the right thing, Jensen, he tells himself.

 

“I had to. I just had to”, he says shakily. 

 

“Why? Tell me, please?” Jared whispers.

 

“No”

 

Jared leans even closer and Jensen can’t do anything about it, wanting to tear his gaze away. He watches immobilized as Jared draws closer, hands reaching up to cup his cheek as his lips hover above his before he closes the distance between them and kisses Jensen. Jared’s lips are as soft as he remembered all those years ago, tasting faintly like cherries. A few seconds later and Jensen moans into the kiss, he‘s dreamt about this moment since the day he fled, leaving his mother, his home and Jared. 

 

Jared pulls Jensen flush against the length of his body, hands sliding down to his lower back, holding him firm against him.

 

Even though they’ve spent nearly a decade apart they fit together perfectly, as if they never left. Jared kisses him hungrily, a hint of desperation in his kiss, biting lightly at Jensen’s moist lips. Jensen rubs against Jared, drawing power from Jared’s bitten back moan as his cock hardens from the friction.

 

“Jensen. Shit. Missed you so fucking much”, Jared gasps against his throat.

 

Jensen freezes, the words like an icy cold bucket of water thrown over his head. He pushes away from Jared in horror. He just kissed a man days before his wedding, and a client no less.

 

Jared is confused and he reaches out for Jensen.

 

Jensen backs away until his back hits the springy barrier of the hedge behind him.

 

“Jared!”, he hisses, “What the hell are we doing?! You’re getting married! In less than a week”, he spits.

 

Realisation dawns on Jared’s face and Jensen hates himself for being the cause. All he’s ever wanted for Jared was for him to be safe and happy and all he’s done is cause more trouble and more pain for Jared.

 

Jared scrubs a hand through his hair.

 

“I, I. Oh God, what have I done. I’m so sorry Jensen. Fuck”, Jared says miserably. 

 

He reaches a hand out for Jensen, remorse on his face. Instead of meeting him, Jensen steps back. He knows what he has to do now. For Jared’s sake. 

 

“Jared, what happened just then? Wedding nerves. That and the fact that we used to be lovers”

 

“Don’t lie Jensen. I know it wasn’t. Don’t tell me that kiss didn’t mean anything. You do feel something for me. I know I still feel something for you. I love you Jensen. Have since I first saw you manning the counter at that little burger shop that summer day”

 

“Jared, listen to me. You are getting married. Don‘t do this”, Jensen pleads.

 

“Don’t do what? Not tell you how I feel? About us, about you leaving suddenly? Don’t tell you how I kept praying you’d come back? What did I do Jensen? What did I do that was so bad that it drove you away?” Jared chokes out.

 

Jensen sucks in a surprised breath, in all his imaginings he had never thought his leaving would have this effect on Jared. Never would he have thought that Jared blamed himself for his leaving. He had always thought that Jared would bounce back, find a girlfriend, live the normal life his parents wanted him to have. He had thought that if anyone in this was allowed to feel pain, only he was. He was the one that was the most in love, he was the one that was labeled the freak, he was the one that was messing up Jared’s life and he was the one that made the ultimate sacrifice.

 

 

“I don’t love Connie. I mean, sure she’s a nice girl and would have made a nice wife who I could gradually care a lot for but I don’t think I can go through with the wedding now that I’ve found you”, Jared continues urgently, eyes locked on Jensen’s. 

 

 

Jensen can feel himself wavering, he wants to throw himself in Jared’s arms and never let go, have the happy, fairy tale ending he had always dreamed of. 

 

 

This thing you’re doing with my son. It’s unnatural, wrong. 

 

 

*My Jared is not a…faggot like you are. He’s too naïve and trusting. He would never do what he did with you if you hadn’t…brainwashed him. You may act like the shy, innocent boy next door but I don’t buy it. I know what you are. You’re nothing but white trash who saw dollar signs when he saw my son. 

 

 

Look, I can make it worth your while to stop seeing my son, no contact with him, nothing. What do you say? I’m prepared to be quite generous.* 

 

 

Jensen stumbles back, the bad memories leaving a bad taste in his mouth. 

 

 

Damn you. Even from the grave, you haunt me, he curses Padalecki, senior. 

 

 

He straightens, freezing Jared’s concerned look and his outreached hands with a cool look. 

 

 

“Jared. I’m going to tell you one time and one time only so listen carefully. I am not in love with you. I may have thought I did when we were 16 but things change. People change. You want to know what happened? I grew up. I stopped pretending we were going to live happily ever after. It was just a phase, an experimentation”, he says cruelly as he struggles internally not to take back every word. He’s doing this for Jared’s own good, his life will be infinitely better if he marries the blonde socialite. He could have kids, a nice home with a white picket fence and a dog in the yard, he would be able to go out with his head held high.

 

 

Oh god, I’m sorry Jared. I still love you. So much. I’m sorry, he thinks, heart wrenching at the expression on Jared's face.

 

 

Jared backs away, swallowing hard. Jensen feels torn as unshed tears glitter in Jared’s eyes.

 

 

“I see”, he says quietly. 

 

 

Using every ounce of strength in his drained body, Jensen turns and walks away, biting his lip hard to stop the tears he can feel pressing to free themselves under his eyelids.


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: stuff in astericks is a dream  


* * *

**“Okay. Music. Check. Snacks and drinks. Check. Sunscreen. Hmm. There’s a tube in the pool house. Okay, help yourself to the snacks. I’m going to get changed”, Jared grins, loping away.

 

Jensen sits on the deckchair, admiring the immaculate garden. He opens a soda for himself and one for Jared as he waits. 

 

Jared is back within minutes, dropping beside him on the deckchair, throwing a tube of sunscreen and two towels on the ground. Jensen peeks at Jared’s flat, toned stomach from under his eyelashes and feels himself getting hot as he hands the can of soda to him. He swallows hard as he watches Jared tilt his head back as he drinks from the can, throat moving as he hungrily drinks. Jared is golden and beautiful and Jensen thinks for the hundredth time how someone like him was able to get Jared’s attention. 

 

Jared smiles at him as he puts the can down and picks up the sunscreen. 

 

“Turn around Jen, I’ll do your shoulders and back”, he says.

 

“It’s okay, I can do it”, Jensen protests.

 

“I want to, don‘t want you getting that fair skin burned. Also because I need any excuse to get my hands on your body”, Jared grins cheekily, unscrewing the cap and squeezing a small amount on his palm.

 

Jensen laughs and turns around, biting back a groan of pleasure as Jared slowly rubs in the lotion, palms flat against his shoulders and back, spreading it in evenly. Jensen jerks in surprise when Jared’s large, slick palms slide around his waist and to his stomach. Jared scoots closer until his chest is against Jensen’s back and presses a kiss on his shoulder. Jensen leans back with a sigh of pleasure as Jared slathers lotion onto his arms, chest and stomach, fingers teasing the waistband of his trunks, occasionally dipping inside.

 

“Don’t think I need sunscreen there, Jay”, he murmers. 

 

Jared laughs and withdraws his hands from Jensen’s trunks. He squirts some more lotion on his palms and dipping a finger in, he dabs a thick line on Jensen’s cheek. 

 

“So cute” he says, leaning in to drop a kiss on his lips.

 

Jensen rolls his eyes and spreads the sunscreen over his face, cursing his easily burnt fair skin and wishing he had skin that went golden in the sun and never burnt like Jared had. 

 

“Okay, done?” Jared asks, eyes gleaming.

 

“Yep”, Jensen says, wiping his hand on the trunks.

 

“Good”, Jared grins jumping up and swooping in on Jensen.

 

“What the? Jared. What, oh no. Don’t you dare. Put me down. Right now!” Jensen demands as Jared hauls Jensen’s smaller frame over his shoulder.

 

“Time to cool down”, Jared laughs and dumps him into the pool before he jumps in after him.

 

Jensen comes up spluttering, Jared pops up next to him smiling widely.

 

“I’m so getting you back for that”, Jensen informs him.

 

“Ooh, I’m so scared”, Jared teases.

 

They spend hours in the pool and as the sun begins to go down they drift in the pool lazily, floating on inflatable mattresses. Jared finally slips off into the water and he bobs up next to Jensen. 

 

“Wanna get out now? I’m wrinkly” he says, showing him his fingers. 

 

Jensen turns and drops into the water. 

 

“Okay”, he says, brushing his hair out of the way.

 

They paddle to the edge of the pool, Jared pulls Jensen in for a heated kiss before they climb out, pressing Jensen against the pool edge and letting him feel the hard bulge of his erection against him. 

 

Jensen moans when Jared breaks the kiss. He climbs out of the pool first, turning and offering a hand to Jared. Jared’s half way out of the pool when Jensen grins.

 

“You know that pay back I was talking about?” he asks.

 

“Oh no. You wouldn-”, Jared doesn’t get to finish as Jensen lets go and Jared splashes back into the pool. 

 

Jensen is in the pool house, towel drying his hair when Jared bursts in.

 

“Why you little devil” he says, cornering him and pressing his wet body against Jensen’s mostly dry one.

 

Jensen laughs and squirms as Jared holds him tight. 

 

“You deserved it” he pouts, he blinks as the hug turns sexual, Jared rubbing against him intimately, hands sliding down his back to cup his ass. He links his arms around Jared’s shoulder, leaning in against Jared’s erection, his own cock hardening as Jared nibbles on his ear. 

 

“So beautiful, Jen”, he murmurs. 

 

He doesn’t protest as Jared kisses him heatedly, hands running all over his half naked body. A few moment later and his body feels like it’s on fire, Jared draws him down onto the ground of the pool house, pulling a bunch of towels with him and spreading them to make a thick blanket on the floor. He crawls on top of Jensen, settling between his sprawled legs. 

 

“Don’t have any lube, Jay”, he murmurs as Jared runs a palm down his chest and to the waistband of his swimming trunks. 

 

“Not going to fuck you here, baby. Just wanna make you feel good”, Jared says huskily. 

 

Settling on top of him, Jared resumes kissing him, nipping and sucking at his lips and slipping his tongue inside. He eases a hand between their pressed bodies, slipping a finger into Jensen’s trunks. 

 

“Lift up”, he instructs, pulling the shorts down as Jensen obeys, easing them down his thighs until his cock is freed before pulling down his own. Jensen whimpers when Jared settles back on top of him, their cocks meeting and pressing against each other. 

 

Jared rocks into Jensen slowly, gaining pleasure from the friction of their cocks gliding and rubbing against each other. 

 

Neither of them hear the door opening and realise they are not alone until someone starts screaming.**

 

Jensen wakes up with a start, breathing rapidly. He sits up and stumbles out of his bed, nearly tripping in the tangled sheets. Feeling his way through the dark into the bathroom he turns on the light, wincing as bright artificial light floods the room. He rubs his tired eyes, bends over the sink twists the tap, dunking his head under stream of cold water, gasping as the cold sting revives him. 

 

Turning the tap off he blindly reaches for a face towel and wipes his face. When he looks in the mirror he sees pale skin, wide, haunted eyes and mussed hair. 

 

He throws the towel on the counter and shuffles out, hitting the light switch. He feels his way out of the bedroom and heads towards the kitchen, stopping in front of the fridge. Reaching in towards the back he pulls out a bottle of wine, he scrounges for the wine opener and retreats back into his bedroom, drinking straight out of the bottle.

 

Opening the balcony doors and dropping onto a wicker chair, he takes a drink, eyes wondering over the city lights and the faint sound of traffic as the memories assail him. He had been so in love but still so young, maybe running away was not the best solution but he had been so intimidated by Jared’s father and so insecure about himself and his relationship with Jared that running had been the only option in his mind. 

 

He can’t help flashing back to their heated kiss in the gardens , Jared’s lips, his tongue, the little noises he made in the back of his throat. This job was supposed to cure him of Jared, a method to get over the other man once and for all, instead everything is even more mucked up than before. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Jared, hadn’t wanted to tell him those cruel lies but he hadn’t seen any other choice. Jared was getting married, he had committed himself to a woman and it was Jensen’s job to see that it happened without a hitch. So what if Jensen never got over him? It was all in the past now and with Jared getting married, it was time for him to move on.

 

Jensen realises with a start that the wine bottle had been drained. He looks at the empty bottle in puzzlement but then shrugs and hauls himself out of the chair to go back to bed. For a moment he sees two of everything and he somehow manages to bump into anything and everything from where he was standing right up to his bed where he collapses on top of the covers and is asleep in minutes. 

 

A loud buzzing pulls him out of a deep sleep, Jensen groans, cutting it short when it makes his head ache. 

 

Oh God, my head.

 

The buzzing is insistent and not stopping, vibrations feeling like jack hammers drilling in his head. 

 

Make it stop.

 

He realises with a start that it’s his cell phone going off on the drawer beside him. Snatching it up and cracking open one eye he looks at the caller ID. He whimpers when he sees it is Jared. 

 

He curls up in a ball, praying for his head to stop aching. The phone stops and Jensen is about to breathe a sigh of relief when the vibrating starts again and he sees his screen light up. 

 

It might be important. 

 

“Hello?” he croaks. 

 

“Jensen? Is something wrong? You sound sick”, Jared says after a short moment. 

 

Jensen swallows the pitiful moan building in his throat. 

 

“No, I’m fine. Just ahh…woke up”, he says, stupidly. 

 

“You were sleeping? Jensen it’s past noon. You were supposed to meet my mother for a business lunch today, go over the final details. I‘ve been calling at your office”, Jared says coolly. 

 

“Oh fuc-I mean. Oh my god, you’re right. I’m so late!” he yelps, trying to slide out of bed without jarring his sensitive head. 

 

“It’s okay, she had to cancel. Her husband’s coming back today after a business trip away so she went to pick him up. She asked me to rearrange it as a business dinner instead”, Jared says, voice clipped as he departs the details.

 

“Are…are you and Connie going to be there too?” Jensen asks nervously.

 

“Connie’s got a girl’s night out thing and I’m working overtime tonight in preparation for the time I’m taking off for the honeymoon”, Jared says briskly.

 

“Oh”

 

“Look Jensen. I’m sorry about yesterday. You were right, I was stupid for holding on to the memory of you for so long. You don’t have to be uncomfortable around me anymore. I won’t go near you again. See you at the rehearsal dinner”, he adds before hanging up. 

 

Jensen looks at the cell in his hand, he had finally succeeded in pushing Jared away but he had never imagined it would hurt so much. Jared acting brisk and indifferent to him is an alien feeling, when they had been together Jared had always been smiling at him in affection, touching him, looking at him in a way he never looked at someone else. It seemed as if his plan had worked too well. 

 

He drops the phone onto his bed when nausea overcomes him.

 

I am never drinking by myself again, he tells himself, heaving over the toilet bowl. 

 

Later

 

When Jensen arrives at the restaurant, Jared’s mother is already there with an older man who he assumes his new husband. Introductions are made as he comes to the table and as he correctly guessed, the gentleman is Mr. Johnson. Jensen thinks they make a good couple, Mr. Johnson doesn’t seem anything like Jared’s father and for that reason alone, Jensen is extremely thankful, especially after the trip down memory lane he had the night before.

 

Conversation at the beginning is kept to other topics such as current affairs and Mr. Johnson’s recent business trip before slowly turning towards the upcoming wedding and Jared. 

 

Jensen goes over the final details, Mrs. Johnson nodding and occasionally adding to the notes Jensen had and by the time dessert and coffee arrives she is very happy with the final plans. 

 

“I can’t believe my baby boy is finally getting married”, she sighs. 

 

Jensen smiles weakly. 

 

“You must be very proud”, he says.

 

“Oh I am. I’m very lucky to have a son like him. Popular, smart, handsome, a good boy. I’m just a little bit worried though. He’s been acting so strange these past few weeks”

 

“I’m sure it’s just wedding jitters”, Mr. Johnson soothes.

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him act like this since…well. A long time” she says, frowning. Her face clears. “I’m sure it’s nothing”

 

“Of course”, Jensen nods, drinking his coffee.

 

Mrs. Johnson tilts slightly, looking at something behind Jensen.

 

“Is that…?”

 

She pales and her mouth drops open.

 

“What’s wrong, darling?” Mr. Johnson asks.

 

Jensen turns in his chair. 

 

“Isn’t that Connie over there?” she asks.

 

Jensen scans the diners, stopping when he spots a blonde head a few tables away.

 

“Oh, Jared mentioned she was having a girls night-oh crap”, Jensen says, trailing off. 

 

That was Jared’s bride-to-be alright, but she was definitely not with her girlfriends. Jensen watches in horror as she dines rather cozily with a handsome man a few years older than him and Jared. 

 

“Could just be a friend?” Mr. Johnson says, tone doubtful.

 

“Well unless they’re good friends who like to feed each other food off their plates and gazing into each other’s eyes, I don’t think so”, Jensen says, beginning to get angry on Jared’s behalf. 

 

“What do we do? Jared will be devastated. He’s been working so hard these past few weeks so he doesn’t have to worry about business while he’s honeymooning. She‘s the first girl I‘ve seen him dating seriously in years. Actually I think she‘s been the only girl he‘s seen in years. He‘s never really been interested in dating”, Mrs. Johnson frets, fingers shredding the napkin on her lap. 

 

“What?” Jensen asks. 

 

“Oh god, what are we going to do?” she repeats, near hysteria in her tone.

 

Not that part, tell me about Jared and the girls he hasn’t been dating like he should have been, Jensen thinks. 

 

“Jensen. You have to tell Jared. I can’t do it. I just can’t”, Mrs. Johnson begs.

 

“Me? I-I can’t. I’m just the wedding planner”, Jensen protests. 

 

“Please. Jared will take it better from you. He likes you, talked about you all the time after you first met”

 

He talked about me?, he thinks dumbly. 

 

The next thought is Jared’s free and he said he still loved you, there‘s a chance. 

 

Yeah, that was before you effectively killed off all chances by telling him it was just a stupid experimental phase and that you never really loved him. 

 

Oh god. I’ve made a mistake. A terrible mistake, he realises.


	5. Chapter 5

Jensen’s speeding down the street, thoughts jumbling in his head. 

 

Connie cheated on Jared.

 

Jared hardly dated.

 

Jared was free, assuming he didn’t want a cheating tramp for a wife.

 

He wanted a second chance.

 

He had screwed up. 

 

*They’re sitting on the edge of the jetty, legs dangling over the sides, a mass of unwrapped paper and fish and chips between them. 

 

“Hey, Jensen?” Jared asks hesitantly, turning to look at him as they sit on the edge of the jetty, legs dangling over the side. 

 

“Yeah?” Jensen answers, licking the salt and vinegar off his fingers and reaching for another chip.

 

“You know I love you right?”

 

Jensen stills.

 

“You want to talk about what happened earlier today, right? I said I was sorry, Jay. I am”, he says earnestly, staring at his oily hands.

 

“Hey, it’s no big deal. I just wanted to tell you again. I love you and only you. You don’t have anything to worry about, I don’t want you stressing and worrying every time some girl acts friendly towards me. I only want you”, Jared continues.

 

“But she kept touching you and you didn’t do anything about it. I just…thought you didn’t want me anymore”, Jensen trails miserably.

 

“Jensen, don’t be so silly. I’m with you, I’m not going anywhere…what can I say or do to make you believe it?” Jared sighs, pulling Jensen in close. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jay. You’re the perfect boyfriend, everything’s my fault. I’m just really insecure, I guess. You‘re perfect, everyone either wants to be you or be with you and I can‘t imagine why you picked me out of everyone else”, Jensen says against Jared’s throat.

 

“Jensen, don’t talk about yourself like that, it hurts me when you put yourself down. You’re so beautiful, so gentle, I love being with you, I love you”, Jared presses, dropping a kiss on his bowed head. 

 

“Besides, I didn’t ‘pick’ you, I was a goner the second I looked into your eyes”, Jared smiles.*

 

He did love me, he meant it, I just refused to believe it.

 

Jensen screeches to a halt in front of the high rise office building. It’s just after 8pm and he’s fairly sure Mike is still in the office working on a high profile wedding for the daughter of a politician. He jumps out of his car, locking it before racing inside.

 

Pacing as he rides the elevator to the right floor, Jensen turns all the options in his head. Tell Jared now. Sleep on it and tell him tomorrow. Sleep on it, call Mrs. Johnson and say he can’t do it. 

 

He sighs in relief when he sees the strip of golden light under his friend and business partner’s office door. Mike’s still here, Jensen calms down minutely, his friend had always given him good advice and support whenever he had needed it.

 

He hastily knocks before throwing the door open impatiently.

 

“Mike? I really have to talk…oh. Shit. Sorry”, Jensen blurts, closing the door and leaning against it. 

 

He goes a little red at the shuffling sounds inside and yelps when the door he was leaning against opens, causing him to fall backward.

 

“Whoa” strong hands grip him and he only ends up stumbling a little.

 

“Umm, thanks. Tom. Sorry you guys, didn’t mean to interrupt”, Jensen rushes, the image of Tom, who also happened to be their accountant, on his knees in front of an unzipped Mike burning into his brain.

 

“You okay, Jenny?” Mike asks as Tom smiles shyly.

 

“Umm yeah, just wanted to talk. But you know what, I‘ll just go. You two seemed-occupied”

 

“No that’s fine, sounds important. I’m just going to finish off those tax forms”, Tom says, squeezing past Jensen.

 

“So, what did you need to talk about”, Mike says, slinging an arm around Jensen’s shoulder and leading him inside. 

 

Jensen spills all the details of what had happened that night. 

 

“So this Connie is cheating on Jared and you have been nominated to tell him?”

 

“That’s not all”, Jensen mutters.

 

“You want him back”, Mike says, delightedly.

 

Jensen groans and thumps his head on the table, he still hasn’t told Mike about the cruel words he had spoken to Jared earlier.

 

“Hey come on. It’ll be fine. Just tell him what happened with his father, admit you were stupid to run away with no explanations and then beg for a second chance”, Mike nods.

 

“There’s more, Mike”, Jensen adds, before he takes a deep breath and confesses all.

 

“Oh, Jenny”, Mike sighs. It speaks volumes and Jensen wonders again what possessed him to say awful things to Jared instead of telling the truth.

 

“I thought I was doing the best thing for him”, Jensen says meekly.

 

“I know you were but you have to understand it wasn’t just you that got hurt. You thought you were doing the best thing but you never trusted in him or consulted him and in the end you both got hurt. From the little you’ve told me he sounds like a good person and I’m sure once you explain it to Jared, he’ll understand too”, Mike comforts.

 

“Okay, what’s your game plan?”, Mike announces, rubbing his hands.

 

“No idea”

 

 

“Hmm. Right, let’s stick to something simple. Step one, tell Jared about Connie. Now you said he told you things weren’t really serious between them but I think he’ll probably be shocked at Connie’s little antics anyway so just, give him some time to process before you make a move”

 

“And then what do I say?”

 

“Jenny. I can’t tell you, I don’t know the guy, only you do”

 

“What if I’ve ruined things for good? What if he doesn’t feel anything but hate for me now?”

 

“You’ve got your work cut out for you. If he really loved you he would never be able to hate you. He might be angry and hurt but I don’t think he would ever hate you. Now go get your man”

 

Later

 

Jensen stands in front of Jared’s apartment door, hand raised to knock.

 

“I can do this, I can…no I can’t”, Jensen mutters. 

 

“Jensen? What are you doing here?”

 

Jensen spins around to see Jared standing by the stairwell, briefcase in hand, jacket over his arm and tie loosened, looking adorably mussed.

 

“Ahh. Umm. I need to talk to you”, Jensen stumbles. 

 

“I don’t get you Jensen, just the other day you told me in no uncertain terms to back off and now you‘re coming to my apartment late at night looking all mysterious and needy. Is this some kind of a test to make sure I go through the wedding? Well you don’t have to worry, I’m going to go through with it and I‘ll be out of your life in no time”, Jared says harshly.

 

Jensen sucks in a breath. 

 

Okay, I deserve that.

 

“Jared, please. There’s something…a lot of somethings, actually, that I have to tell you. Just hear me out?”

 

Jared eyes him uneasily but nods, coming up to him and unlocking the door. 

 

Jensen glances at the apartment, it’s a typical bachelor’s pad with walls painted in tones of coffee and cream and furniture that was simple and solid. 

 

“So, what did you want to say?” Jared asks, looking at him expectantly before throwing his jacket over the sofa and settling the briefcase against the leg.

 

“I had dinner with your mother and Mr. Johnson tonight”, Jensen blurts.

 

“Yeah, I know. I’m the one that gave you the details, remember?” Jared says, looking at him strangely.

 

“Oh, right. Umm. It was-nice, sort of”

 

“Jensen, what’s your point?”

 

“So, you were at work right? Where was Connie supposed to be again?” Jensen stalls.

 

“Something about a big girl’s night out, dinner, movie-she didn’t really say. What‘s going on?”

 

“We saw her at the restaurant tonight…she wasn’t with her friends”, he mumbles.

 

“What are you saying exactly?” Jared stands completely still, eyes locked on Jensen. 

 

“I’m saying, she was-with another man, someone she knew intimately”, Jensen says quickly and then biting his lip as he gauges the other man’s reaction.

 

“Oh. Huh”, Jared says, slowly sitting down.

 

That’s it? Oh? Huh?

 

“Are you-okay?”

 

“Let me see. My ex-lover is my wedding planner who I also kissed recently comes to me just days away from my wedding day to tell me the bride has been seeing another man. Does that sound okay?” Jared asks sarcastically, tugging viciously at his tie. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jared”, Jensen offers meekly, not sure how to respond. All the weddings he had organized had turned out fairly well, no cheating spouses, no leaving the groom at the altar.

 

“What do I do now? The wedding is obviously off. I thought Connie wanted to do this so I just went along with it. Oh god, what about the guests? And everything else, the church, the flowers, catering…”

 

“It’s okay, I’ll deal with all that stuff. You just…talk to Connie, I guess”

 

“I can’t talk to her just right now. God, I’m so tired”, Jared sighs.

 

“You look it. Shouldn’t work so hard”, Jensen says without thinking. 

 

Jared cocks a brow at him. 

 

“Maybe you should take a long, hot shower and have an early night”, Jensen suggests, Jared really did look pale and tired. 

 

Jared looks at him suspiciously.

 

“Why are you acting so nice all of a sudden…are you feeling sorry for me? The guy that can’t even hold on to his girlfriend-or boyfriend for that matter”

 

“You do, don’t you? I couldn’t hold onto you then and I couldn’t hold on to Connie either. You must think I’m pathetic”, Jared spits. 

 

“Jared, no. of course not!” Jensen protests. This is not how he envisioned it to be. In his version he thought that Jared would take the news better, he did say he didn’t love Connie, that he’d be relieved to be free. Then Jensen would confess all and throw himself at Jared’s feet asking for a second chance. 

 

“You can go. Thanks for telling me about Connie and offering to sort all the other stuff”, Jared says, standing up, and turning to leave the living room.

 

“Jared wait. Jared…I love you”, Jensen blurts.

 

“W-what? Are you okay?”, Jared asks, gazing at him. 

 

“Jared. What I said the other day. I didn’t mean them, honest. I was just trying to push you away”, Jensen says quickly.

 

“What you’re saying is a little too convenient, Jensen. If you really loved me you would have told me rather than deny it, you wouldn’t have let me go ahead with the wedding”, Jared says evenly.

 

“You don’t get it Jared. I pushed you away because I love you, I told you to go through with the wedding because I love you, because I thought it was what was best for you, because I wanted you to have the best”

 

“I only did what I did to give you a better life. The perfect wife, kids, a home with a big, grassy lawn and a white picket fence” 

 

“How do you know what’s best for me? Only I know what’s best for me, I’m not a child, I know what I want. I didn’t want that. All I ever wanted was to be with you. You say you were only thinking about me but I think you’re wrong. You weren’t thinking of me, you were thinking of yourself. You were scared, insecure, you couldn’t handle the thought of having a male partner and the obstacles you would have to be faced with because of that. You chose to deny your feelings rather than admit them. It was selfish of you to do that, cowardly”

 

“No, it’s not like that”, Jensen denies, weakly. He knows Jared is partially right.

 

“You know that’s wrong, even now you deny rather than admitting your mistakes”, Jared says, stalking closer. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry”, Jensen says, breaking down. 

 

Strong arms envelope him as Jensen starts sobbing, alternating between repeatedly apologizing and gasping for breath between sobs. 

 

“Shh, it’s okay, Jen. It’s okay”, Jared soothes, rubbing his back and stroking his hair. 

 

“I know you were trying to do the right thing in your own way. It’s alright, don’t cry. I love you”, Jared continues to comfort. 

 

“I j-just thought you’d be better off without m-me. We were s-so young and even your d-dad s-said s-so”, Jensen blubbers, clinging to Jared’s shirt which he was rapidly getting wet with his tears. 

 

Jared stiffens around him.

 

“My dad? When did you talk to him? Jensen?”

 

Jensen tries to explain, words stuttering out of his mouth, but he’s so confused and upset that the words make no sense.

 

“Jensen. Slow down. Breathe for a second, baby. Easy. Okay now? Start again for me”, Jared encourages.

 

He eventually gets the story out, words coming out in more understandable sentences. Jared’s face turns from gentle to angry.

 

“I can’t believe he did that! How could he?! He knew how much we were in love and he went behind my back to break us up”

 

“He was just l-looking out for you. Don‘t be angry”, Jensen whispers against Jared’s chest, nose wrinkling when he sees the rather large, damp patch on Jared’s designer shirt. “I made your shirt wet”, he frowns.

 

Jared’s anger melts and he wipes Jensen’s tears away and kisses him. 

 

“I love you. I love you. I love you”, Jared murmurs against his tingling lips. 

 

“Do you…forgive me for running away then? I should never have been so weak”, Jensen asks. 

 

“I think I understand, in a strange way, your running away showed how much you loved me. But if you ever do anything as stupid as that again I’ll…spank you-or something ”, Jared says heatedly, eyes alight with humor.

 

“Kiss me again?” Jensen asks, hardly daring to believe this was real. 

 

“My pleasure. We‘ve got a decade to make up for”, Jared smiles.


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen stands still as Jared takes his face between his palms and presses his mouth against his, lips warm and soft. Jensen paws at Jared’s shirt, finding a firmer grip as he tugs it out of his trousers and fists the loose material in his hands. Jared murmurs a little and opens his mouth as Jensen presses his tongue against his lips and slips it inside. 

 

Jensen lets Jared pull him closer against him, deepening the kiss and sighing in pleasure as Jared slides his leg between his. Jensen closes in against Jared until he’s practically riding Jared’s muscular thigh, whimpering as his cock hardens from the intimate contact. 

 

Jared pulls his mouth away, lips pink and puffy. His mouth falls against Jensen’s neck, biting gently. Jensen groans as he rubs against Jared gaining pleasure from the friction of sliding up and down Jared’s thigh. Jared’s tongue swipes over the area he nipped. 

 

“So gorgeous, Jen. It’s been so long ”, he murmurs longingly against Jensen’s ear, teeth dragging lightly across the tender flesh, strong hands pushing Jensen down against his thigh.

 

Jensen moans, hands clutching at Jared’s shoulders as he dry humps Jared’s thigh, being with Jared is almost intoxicating. His eyes snap open at Jared’s words and the longing tone in his voice. 

 

He tightens his arms around Jared. 

 

“It’s my fault”, he murmurs miserably. If he had acted differently back than would they have had ten years of happiness and love? It practically killed him to think about the what ifs. 

 

“Hey. We’re back together where we belong now, it’s okay”, Jared soothes, kissing him. 

 

“I’m going to make it up to you”, Jensen promises, tangling his hands in Jared’s hair. 

 

“Oh, I’m going to make sure of it”, Jared agrees lightheartedly. 

 

Jensen slides his palm down Jared’s chest.

 

“Want me to begin making up for my mistakes?” he smiles, curling his palm around the bulge in Jared’s pants. 

 

Jared groans and thrusts against the contact.

 

Jensen rubs him gently through the material of his pants. 

 

“God, Jensen. Feels good”, Jared sighs, leaning forward and capturing Jensen’s lips for a kiss. 

 

When Jensen begins tugging at Jared’s leather belt, Jared pulls back with uncertainty on his face. Jensen stills and looks up at him. 

 

“Are you sure you want to do this Jen? I mean, after everything that’s happened or is happening…it‘s not too fast?” he quickly asks.

 

“I missed you Jay, nearly every single fucking day I would think about you, think about us. I don’t want to spend another minute without you…unless you don’t want to?” 

 

“No! Its not that. I want to be with you so much, I just needed to make sure. It can wait if you want”, Jared offers. 

 

Jensen smiles and pulls Jared forward in a long, deep kiss, trying to convey the love and need he was feeling to Jared and pressing his erection against Jared’s crotch, letting him know exactly how eager he was for him. 

 

“I love you Jared and I want to be with you”, Jensen breathes, rocking slowly against Jared.

 

Jared smiles a blinding smile. 

 

“Love you”

 

He tilts his head towards the hallway. 

 

“Want to go to bed?” he asks, palms sliding to Jensen’s lower back. 

 

“Yeah, take me to bed Jay”, Jensen replies, leaning into Jared’s hold. 

 

Jared draws him towards a king sized bed with mocha colored bed sheets and pillows that takes up the majority of his bedroom. Jensen sinks onto the mattress at the foot of the bed, lifting his arms as Jared draws his shirts off his chest. Jared sinks to his knees in front of Jensen, drawing him into a deep kiss as his palms slide over his bare chest. 

 

He gasps as Jared’s fingers skim over his nipples, brushing against the sensitive flesh, sending tingles of pleasure to his cock. 

 

He tugs at Jared’s shirt, wanting the same contact of hands on bare skin. Jared helps him unbutton the first few buttons before tugging it over his head, hardly dropping it to the floor before Jensen’s hands are on him, relearning the slopes and curves of his lover’s body. Jared is still smooth, still warm to touch but he’s more muscular, more broader than when they had been teens. Jared leans forward, bites the sensitive point between his neck and shoulder, gasping when Jensen’s exploratory hands skim over his flat abdomen stroking a path down his navel and dipping under the waistband of his pants teasingly. 

 

Jared pushes him backwards on the bed until he’s lying on top of him. Jensen spreads his legs a little, allowing Jared to settle comfortably in between, groaning when Jared grounds down on him. 

 

He grips Jared tightly, threading his fingers into Jared’s hair as he kisses him, tongue exploring the cavern of his hot, wet mouth, tongue tangling with his. 

 

When they separate they are both panting, Jared’s lips are red and swollen and Jensen figures his must be too. 

 

“Jensen. I want you so much. God, it’s been so long”, Jared moans, pressing a line of wet, open mouthed kisses down his chest. 

 

Jensen arches up into the contact, hand pressing Jared’s head firmly against his chest. 

 

“Jared. I want you. Please?” he gasps as Jared swipes his tongue over his nipple, rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. 

 

Jared stops and looks up at Jensen, eyes darkened with lust.

 

“God, Jen”, he rasps, fingers sliding over Jensen’s nipples, making them tingle and stiffen.

 

He scrambles to his knees, hands reaching for Jensen’s belt. 

 

Jensen lifts up as Jared pulls out his belt an tugs his trousers down his thighs, dropping them off the side of the bed when they slide off. He props himself on his elbows on the mattress, watching as Jared shucks his own clothes.

 

He’s all mine, he thinks with wonder, watching as strong, muscular thighs and defined calves are revealed. Heat pools in his belly as Jared slowly draws down his briefs, dropping them on the pile of clothes on the floor by the bed. 

 

Jensen looks at the beautiful man before him and thinks back to the beautiful youth he had known and loved. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have him back again and promises himself he won’t screw it up again. 

 

Jared’s cock stands stiff against his belly, the shaft a shade darker than the skin on his stomach. Jensen’s breath hitches as his eyes trace Jared’s body and shows him how much he has changed physically since the last time they had been together. Jared’s probably taller, he’s definitely filled out his frame a little more, he’s more muscular, more manly. Jensen smiles when he traces the strong line of Jared’s jaw and realises he can still see the friendly sixteen year old youth in his features. 

 

“You okay?” Jared asks, seeing Jensen’s moment of distraction.

 

Jensen’s mouth curves upward in a smile. 

 

“Yeah, come here”, he murmurs.

 

Jared smiles softly as he lowers himself back onto the bed, pressing a line of kisses up Jensen’s inner thigh until he reaches the material of his underwear. He looks at Jensen with hooded eyes as his fingers dip under the waistband, fingers brushing against his cock. 

 

Jensen thrusts up into the contact, sighing his approval when Jared tugs them down and wraps his warm palm around his length. He arches his hips off the mattress, low moans being dragged from him as Jared begins gliding his fist up and down Jensen’s cock, thumb occasionally swiping over the sensitive slit at the head. 

 

Jared’s crooning encouraging words as Jensen thrashes underneath him, panting his name. 

 

“Jared, oh god. Jared. Don’t stop”, Jensen begs. 

 

“Not going to stop, baby. God, you look incredible like this, Jen. All spread out and close to coming. Beautiful”, Jared breathes tightening his grip and speeding up the pace

 

Jensen groans, hands gripping the bed sheet beneath him.

 

“God, I’m close”, he whimpers.

 

“It’s okay baby. Let go”, Jared croons, snaking his free hand between Jensen’s spread thighs and skimming over his balls, cupping lightly.

 

Jensen comes with Jared‘s name on his lips, spilling over Jared’s fist and his own stomach. 

 

He lays limp and sated as Jared cleans the come off his hands and his stomach with gentle wipes. Jensen shifts lazily and reaches for Jared. 

 

“Your turn”, he grins. 

 

Jared smiles, kisses Jensen’s fingers when they reach towards him. 

 

“Jen? I want to be inside you. Please?” Jared asks, hands skimming Jensen’s thighs. 

 

“Yes”, Jensen breathes.

 

Jared kisses his navel, and pushes his thighs further apart. Jared’s fingers are feather light as they trace patterns on his thighs and stomach, he sinks into the mattress as Jared strokes him gently. He sucks in a breath when Jared circles his palm around his soft, spent cock and squeezes.

 

Jared grins wolfishly as Jensen whimpers and his sensitive cock twitches. He pulls on his cock a few more times before he releases him and hurriedly reaches for the bedside drawer and pulls out a tube of lubricant and protection. 

 

Jared sits back on his haunches on the bed, taking in the sight of Jensen spread before him. 

 

“Fucking beautiful”, he rasps.

 

“Speak for yourself, Jay”, Jensen returns, hungrily taking in Jared’s lithe form, smiling when he sees how hard Jared is and the pre-come oozing out of the head of his cock. 

 

Jared laughs softly and uncaps the lube, drizzling some on his palm. He throws the tube aside and shifts closer between Jensen’s legs. He stills as Jared presses a slick finger to his puckered entrance.

 

“Going okay?” Jared murmurs, holding still. 

 

Jensen rocks his hips a little, pressing down against the intrusion and watching Jared’s eyes flash as the tip of his finger slips in. 

 

“Yeah, keep going”

 

Jared eases the digit into Jensen’s entrance, crooking it and looking for the bundle of nerves as he slides all the way in. 

 

“You’re so tight. God, I can’t wait until it’s my cock being squeezed inside you”, Jared whispers, pressing against Jensen’s prostate. 

 

He arches and cries out as Jared presses hard against that special spot. 

 

“Holy fuck. Jared!” 

 

Jared eases his finger away and comes back moments later with two, gently scissoring him open when they slide deep within him, occasionally brushing over his prostate, making him rock hard again. 

 

“Jared, please”, he begs, hips jerking helplessly against Jared’s fingers, trying to take him in deeper. 

 

“What do you want, baby? Tell me”, Jared drawls, crooking and bending his fingers inside him. 

 

“I want you inside me, you, not your fingers”, Jensen moans, yelping as Jared penetrates him with another long slender finger.

 

“Hold on Jenny. Won’t be long till you have me”, Jared promises.

 

A few moments later and Jensen is starving for Jared inside him, his teasing touches driving him to boiling point. Jared finally withdraws his fingers and moves away to roll on a condom and slick the latex up with lube. 

 

Jared lowers himself over Jensen’s splayed body, his lubed sheath rubbing against Jensen’s own hardness, slipping and sliding pleasurably as Jared draws him into a deep, hungry kiss. Jensen shifts a little allowing Jared’s seeking cock to press against his slick entrance. 

 

Jared moans, snaking a hand between their bodies and wrapping it around the base of his cock. Propping himself up on his knees, he pushes Jensen’s thighs further apart and positions the head of his cock against his entrance. 

 

“Ready, baby?” he murmurs, eyes flashing with love and need.

 

Jensen tilts his hips upward. 

 

“Make love to me, Jay”

 

Jared presses forward slowly, an expression of pleasure filling his handsome face as the head breeches his entrance and sinks inside. He gasps as he slowly becomes filled, feeling the walls contract against Jared’s length, pulling him further inside and gripping tightly.

 

“Holy fuck. God, Jen. So tight, so hot”, Jared moans as he sinks all the way in. 

 

“Mmm. Feel so full”, Jensen answers, arms sliding around Jared’s broad shoulders. 

 

He gasps as Jared begins to ride him after a moment to allow him to rediscover the feel of him inside him. He wraps his legs around Jared’s back, moaning as Jared withdraws and thrusts back into him with steady movements. Jared changes the angle of his thrusts and Jensen’s eyes roll back in his head and a strangled moan is pulled from his throat as Jared finds the bundle of nerves. 

 

“God, Jared!”, he shouts, tightening his grip around Jared’s shoulders. 

 

Jared laughs breathily. 

 

“Like that?” he teases, adjusting his thrusts and hitting the special spot again, a little harder this time. 

 

Jensen moans loudly, bucking beneath him and urging him to fuck him harder, faster, to never stop. 

 

With one hand moving to tangle in Jared’s hair, he presses the other between their bodies and wraps a palm around his cock. Jared presses down against him, wrapping his palm around Jensen’s hand, guiding his movements as Jensen pleasures himself in time with his thrusts. 

 

“Oh god. Jared, don’t stop. Faster, harder”, he begs. 

 

“I never want to stop. So fucking gorgeous, Jen. Love seeing you like this”, Jared grounds, fucking him harder into the mattress. 

 

Jensen’s climax washes over him as Jared thrusts hard against his prostate, his come spilling over his and Jared’s hands. Jared groans and continues thrusting into him. 

 

“Almost there”, he gasps as Jensen rides out the waves of his climax, clamping helplessly against Jared’s cock and milking him. 

 

Jared shouts as he reaches orgasm, moaning into Jensen’s mouth as he kisses him sweetly. 

 

“Love you. God, I love you so much”, he whispers against Jensen’s ear. 

 

Jensen holds him tightly. 

 

“Love you Jared”, he returns softly, stroking his lover’s sweaty, tangled hair away from his face. 

 

The next day 

 

Jensen sits in the passenger seat of Jared’s car, fingers drumming against his knee as he stares up at the apartment complex before him. Somewhere up there Jared was breaking things off with Connie. Jared had told him earlier on the way to her apartment that they weren’t in love and that there was little more than mutual like between them. He was still surprised she had been seeing someone else though and felt guilty as even though he hadn’t loved her, he had still tried to be the perfect boyfriend, hoping their marriage could grow into a successful one. 

 

Their fathers were business acquaintances and had both thought their children would be a good match. They had set them up with a blind date and they had gotten along well enough but Jared had still been in love with Jensen and Connie had still been enjoying her single life as the spoilt only daughter of a wealthy man. 

 

They had only gotten engaged when Jared’s father had first gotten ill, hoping the good news would help him recover. It had worked for awhile before his father’s health had rapidly decreased and he had passed away soon after. Before Jared could finally end things between him and Connie, her father and his mother had started talking about the actual wedding and pressuring for dates. Jared couldn’t bear hurting his mother’s feelings and Connie hadn’t been able to charm her father out of the idea and so after a period of trying to get out of it a date had been set and plans made. 

 

Jensen starts tapping his foot nervously, what was taking so long? Had Jared changed his mind? Did he regret last night? Had he taken her back?

 

He’s pale and anxious when Jared emerges from the building and strides towards the parked car. 

 

“Hey babe, what’s wrong?” Jared asks in concern as he slides into the drivers seat and his eyes settle on Jensen’s face. 

 

Jensen can’t answer him, too focused on searching for answers on Jared’s face. 

 

Jared frowns. 

 

“You were freaking out again, weren’t you?” he sighs. 

 

He turns and pulls Jensen forward, arms wrapping around him. 

 

“Jen. Come on, you have to stop being so insecure, I thought we got all that sorted. I love you, I want to be with you. I‘m not leaving you” he soothes, cradling him close. 

 

Jensen relaxes against him, feeling a little guilty for underestimating Jared and himself again. 

 

“I’m sorry. I‘m trying but it gets so hard not to worry sometimes”, he says.

 

“I know, baby. But you have to trust in me and yourself more”, Jared answers, kissing his head. 

 

Jensen nods. 

 

“How’d it go?” he asks. 

 

Jared shrugs. 

 

“Okay. She was pretty relieved I suppose”, he says, scooting back into his seat and starting the car. 

 

Jensen mentally sighs in relief, Jared is now officially his. 

 

He leans back into his seat. 

 

“Where are we going now?” he asks, privately hoping Jared will say back to his apartment for another round of lovemaking.

 

Jared is quiet for a moment. 

 

“I want to talk to my mom”, he finally answers.

 

Jensen’s blood runs cold. 

 

“W-wait. What?” he chokes out. 

 

“Jensen I want her to know about me, about us. I love you and I want her to know I’m finally happy again, that she doesn’t have to worry about me anymore”, Jared answers, pleading a little as he turns his direction off the road briefly. 

 

“Not worry about you anymore? Jared, she is going to freak, just like that first time she caught us! This is a stupid idea!” Jensen argues, voice rising. 

 

“Jen, please. I won’t hide our relationship, I won’t hide you from the only family I have left. She may not like it but at least it’ll be out there in the open”, Jared answers, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

 

Jensen studies his lover’s face, sees the tenseness, the determination and the fear. 

 

“Okay”, he relents, Jared is probably just as scared as he is but at least he’s being brave about it. 

 

“I’ll support you. I love you, Jared”, he adds, placing a hand on Jared’s thigh and rubbing softly.

 

“Thank you”, Jared smiles, gratitude in his eyes.

 

Johnson residence

 

Jared lets them into the house with his own key, finding the housekeeper in the kitchen and enquiring of the whereabouts of his mother. When they are told she is sitting on the porch in front of the back gardens, they head outside. Jensen grips Jared’s hand reassuringly, feeling the slight tremble in the hold and not sure whether it is his or Jared’s nerves. He lets go when they slip outside, seeing them holding hands is probably not the best way for Jared’s mother to find out. 

 

“Mama?” Jared calls as they step onto the porch. 

 

Jensen follows closely behind Jared as he strides towards his mother and Mr. Johnson who were seated and gazing out at the well kept grounds. 

 

“Oh Jared, darling”, his mother says, standing up and hugging her son. 

 

“Did Jensen tell you about our dinner last night?” she asks uncertainly. 

 

“Yes, mama. It’s fine, Connie and I have sorted it out. The wedding’s off”, Jared answers calmly. 

 

“I see. I’m sorry darling” she begins, patting at Jared’s shirt, helplessly. 

 

“Mama, it’s fine. We didn’t have that sort of relationship. Better we split now than later down the track. I need to tell you something, mama”, Jared breaks in. 

 

Mr. Johnson, recognizing the seriousness in his stepson‘s expression, comes to stand behind his wife. 

 

“What is it darling?” his mother asks. 

 

“Maybe you should sit down”, Jared answers, throwing a look at Jensen over his shoulder. 

 

“Just tell me”, she presses worriedly. 

 

“Mama…do you remember the summer I was sixteen?”

 

“What about it darling?” she asks, paling slightly.

 

“Dad did something awful that summer”, Jared says, swallowing heavily.

 

“Jared, what are-”, she begins.

 

Jared cuts her off, raising his palm.

 

“No, wait. I’m not finished. Nearly ten years ago I fell in love but for some reason you and dad wouldn’t accept this, wouldn’t accept the person I fell in love with. Dad drove this person away and my life ended right there, sure I still went on with life but I wasn’t happy. Did you know what dad did? He went to this person’s house, threw insults, threats, tried to bribe this person to leave me alone. All because you wouldn’t accept I was in love with another boy”, Jared rushes. 

 

Jared’s mother steps back in shock, raises a trembling fist to her mouth. 

 

“Jared. What are you saying? Your father never did anything of that sort”

 

“So you didn’t know?” Jared asks and Jensen can see his shoulders slump in relief that at least his mother hadn’t been involved with threatening and bribing Jensen.

 

“Because of dad I never saw the boy I fell in love with again, I was shattered. It hadn’t been a phase or an experiment or even a summer fling. It was the real deal, I was in love and dad, and you to a certain extent, drove him away!”

 

“Jared, darling, you’re not like that…you’ve only dated girls since then”, she stumbles. 

 

“Only because you and dad kept pressuring me, only because I knew I’d never fall in love again. Why couldn’t you accept I was in love with another boy? Why?” Jared bursts out. 

 

Jensen tries to stop the tears he can feel building up, blinking them back quickly, hearing Jared talk about this dredges up bad memories. 

 

“How do you know it was love? We were only trying to do the best thing for you”, Mrs. Johnson argues. 

 

“I know you were Mama, but you were wrong, breaking us up was the worst thing you could have done…it’s okay though. I forgive you…in a way, you fixed things”, Jared sighs. He turns to Jensen and holds out his palm. 

 

Jensen takes a deep breath and steps forward, clasping Jared’s hand in his, hearing the shocked intake of breath from Jared’s mother.

 

“Mama, do you remember Jen, my boyfriend from that summer?”

 

Mrs. Johnson’s eyes are wide and disbelieving as she traces his features.

 

“Oh god. I thought you seemed familiar when I first saw you”, she says, paling. 

 

“I recognized you the moment I saw you…I was surprised when the sentiment wasn’t returned”, Jensen admits.

 

“Jensen and I are back together again. I don’t care if you won’t accept it. This is who I am and Jensen is who I love. You can’t change that”, Jared says defiantly.

 

“Oh lord”, she murmurs, swaying slightly. 

 

Mr. Johnson guides her to a seat.

 

He looks at Jared and Jensen sympathetically. 

 

“Maybe you should come back later, give her some time to get used to all this’, he suggests kindly. 

 

Jared nods and turns, pulling Jensen with him. Once they get outside Jared turns to Jensen and kisses him. 

 

“I love you Jensen”, he breathes against his lips.

 

Jensen kisses him back with abandon. 

 

“Love you”

 

“Do you think mama will be okay?” Jared asks, looking back at the house. 

 

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know”, Jensen answers honestly.

 

“I can live with it if she’s not okay with this…as long as I have you, I’m happy”, Jared tells him. 

 

Jensen kisses him and prays everything will turn out alright for Jared’s sake.


	7. Epilogue

2 weeks later. Somewhere in the Mediterranean. 

 

They’re lying under the huge beach umbrella, sprawled comfortably over a rug laid out over the sand and clad only in swimming trunks. Jensen’s on his stomach, propped up on his arms as he faces the pristine blue water, thriller novel open before him.

 

“I was thinking, maybe…”, Jensen ponders, turning his head to the side to look at Jared laying on his back and dozing beside him. 

 

Jared lazily pushes his sunglasses off his face and turns to meet his gaze.

 

“Babe, don’t even think about calling to check up on Mike. He’s can handle the business without you for a couple of weeks. He expressly ordered me to make sure you had a good, work free vacation”, Jared says in an authoritative tone.

 

“He did?” Jensen asks in surprise, before he smiles. 

 

Mike had been overjoyed when Jensen had told him he and Jared were back together and when he had taken Jared to meet him and Tom, he had given Jared a seal of approval after he had made sure Jared‘s intentions were pure. 

 

A week later, when Jared would have become a married man if Jensen had not come back into his life, he had told Jensen that since he had already worked late most nights for weeks ahead of the wedding he was going to take advantage of his vacation time and he wanted Jensen to come spend it with him. He and Connie had planed to go to Paris for the honeymoon but Jared had told Connie to take the holiday for herself. After a bit of indecision and worrying about leaving the business to Mike to handle by himself, he had finally been convinced by his friend and business partner to accept Jared’s offer and here he was sunbathing on a secluded beach with Jared in the Mediterranean. 

 

Things between Jared and his mother had been strained but Jensen had reason to believe they would work things out. She loved her only son and she wanted him to be happy, even confessing a blind person could see how happy Jensen made her son feel. she was slowly learning to accept that her son was in love with another man thanks to the support of her second husband who apparently had a gay uncle and was helping her see that Jared was still the same as he always was and that he was still her loving, caring son.

 

“I must not be doing my job right if you keep thinking about work”, Jared pouts. 

 

“Aww no baby, I’ll stop thinking about work-promise”, Jensen answers, leaning down and drawing Jared into a kiss, nibbling and licking at his lips, tongue seeking entrance into Jared‘s mouth. He runs searching hands over his warm, bare chest and slips them under the waistband of his black swimming trunks, wrapping his fingers around Jared’s cock. 

 

Jared moans into his mouth, jerking into his grip. When they break apart several minutes later, Jared is hot and hard in his palm and he isn’t far behind. Jensen teasingly flicks a thumb over the tip of Jared’s cock before releasing him.

 

“Jen?” Jared murmurs disappointedly.

 

Jensen smiles, drops a kiss on Jared’s lips. Then he’s scrambling up and dashing away. 

 

“Last one in has to be slave to the other for a whole day”, he shouts over his shoulder as he races towards the water. 

 

“What?! You cheat! No fair, get back here!” Jared sputters from behind him, scrambling up. 

 

Jensen laughs and sticks his tongue out at Jared catching up behind him as he splashes into the ocean, pumping his fists in victory. Jared throws himself at Jensen and they both go under, coming up sputtering. 

 

Strong arms grip Jensen, pulling him up and against Jared’s broad chest. 

 

“You cheated, babe”, Jared whines. 

 

“Oh come on Jay. I’ll have you know everything I’ll be telling you to do will benefit you too…and if you‘re really good I might even be persuaded to be your slave the next day”, Jensen says slyly, trailing fingers down Jared’s chest. 

 

“Oh really? You should of said that earlier”, Jared teases. 

 

“Where’s the fun in that…now for my first command…I want you to kiss me”, Jensen demands, curling his fingers in Jared‘s dripping hair. 

 

“As you wish, master”, Jared murmurs with a grin.

 

Later

 

“I can’t believe you went to all this effort, Jay”, Jensen says in amazement as he stares out over the water. 

 

He leans against the railing on the deck of the private yacht Jared had hired for the night, he had been taken completely by surprise when Jared had told him to dress up nice tonight. He had been expecting Jared to take him to an expensive restaurant they had been to a few times since their arrival but when Jared had led him to a wharf instead he had looked around in puzzlement until Jared had pointed out a sleek yacht and announced he’d hired the yacht for the night and that he was treating him to a romantic dinner out on the water. The yacht was being steered by a small crew and even a gourmet chef and waiter were on board to cater to their needs. 

 

“Are you impressed?” Jared asks as he hands him a flute of champagne, putting on an overtly serious expression on his face before succumbing to a laugh. 

 

“Oh for sure. You are so getting lucky tonight”, Jensen jokes. 

 

“Looking forward to it”, Jared laughs, slipping an arm around him and kissing him softly.

 

Jared breaks the kiss a few moments later.

 

“I’m so thankful to have you back in my life, you know”, he says quietly. 

 

“It’s been amazing, Jay. I only wished I hadn’t been such a coward and ran away all those years ago, we might have had an extra ten years together”, Jensen answers with regret. 

 

“It’s not your fault Jenny, there were a lot of things going against us. It’s best not to linger on the past. Besides, everything still worked out. I reckon we should be looking towards our future. Together”, Jared urges. 

 

Warmth spreads through Jensen at the thought of a future with Jared. As a young teen, the thought of a future with Jared had been an exciting, but alien concept, nothing more than youthful, romantic notions. Ten years on and Jensen realises the visions of a future with Jared he had envisioned as a teen is nothing compared to now. He’s stronger now, more confident, more mature and more wise and he‘s not about to let anyone scare him into backing away from what he wants. He knows a future with Jared will not be a bed of roses, there will be trials, there will be obstacles, but he’s not afraid anymore. Being with Jared is worth it, the rewards far outweigh the negatives.

 

“I love the sound of that. A future together-our future”, Jensen smiles.

 

“Since we’re on the topic…close your eyes”, Jared asks, taking Jensen‘s flute of champagne away.

 

“What? Why?” he asks, uncertainly.

 

Jared places their flutes on the table and returns to Jensen’s side. 

 

“Just do it”, he answers, exasperated. 

 

Jensen closes his eyes to humor Jared. He hears some rustling noises and then Jared softly tells him to put out his palm. 

 

A few seconds later and Jared places something in his palm, closing his fingers around it with his hand. 

 

“Okay, open your eyes”, Jared says. 

 

Jensen opens his eyes and stares at his closed hand, Jared’s larger hand on top of his, keeping his fingers locked around the object in his palm. 

 

Jared slowly withdraws his hand, Jensen slowly uncurls his fingers, revealing a small, black velvet box in the middle of his palm. He looks between the box and Jared and back again. 

 

“Open it”, Jared instructs, gently. 

 

Jensen does so with hesitant movements. When he lifts the lid up and sees what is inside he can’t help a startled breath escape him. 

 

“Jared?”

 

“I love you Jensen. Have since I first laid eyes on you. You were my first love and I hope you’ll be my last too…will you marry me?” 

 

Jared speaks with conviction and love, the emotion evident in his eyes as he stares at Jensen and waits for a response.

 

Jensen looks at the simple platinum ring nestled on the cushion in it‘s velvet box.

 

Without a word Jensen steps into Jared’s arms. 

 

“I love you. I‘d be honoured”, he whispers against Jared’s ear, holding him tight. 

 

Jared hugs him for a long moment before he steps back and takes the box from Jensen’s hold. He carefully eases the band out, holding it between two fingers. 

 

“I had the inside engraved with a message at the jeweler’s”, he tells him. 

 

Jensen peers at the band, squinting slightly.

 

“Today, tomorrow, forever”, he reads out with a smile. 

 

When Jared slowly slides the band onto his ring finger, Jensen can’t think of any moment in time he’s ever been happier, or felt more complete and loved. 

 

THE END


End file.
